


Fun with Assumptions

by Armed_With_Knitting_Needles



Series: Linked Universe Fanfics [3]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Linked Universe, LinkedUniverse, Swearing, lots and lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 02:52:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18240917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Armed_With_Knitting_Needles/pseuds/Armed_With_Knitting_Needles
Summary: Wind used to sail on a pirate ship. The other Links forgot about that.





	Fun with Assumptions

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fanfic of the Linked Universe au by jojo56830.

It was a quiet day. There had been no monsters and very few other people on the road. Light showers in the morning had been the worst thing to happen all day. The ambush didn’t come as a surprise. It had been far too quiet.

The moblins tried to sneak up on the heroes. It was almost amusing in a way. The shock on the face of the moblin that had tried to hit Four over the head was priceless. His club was still raised as he looked down to see Four’s sword piercing his stomach. The rest of the moblins watched as their fallen comrade slid off of the sword, Four locked eyes with the nearest one as the rest of the Link’s drew their weapons. After that chaos erupted.

They were currently in Hyrule’s Hyrule, so the moblins were easy to take down, but they had numbers on their sides and long spears. The Links divided with an unspoken strategy. Hyrule, Four, Legends, Hyrule, and Time took on the moblins directly swords raised and in tight formation. Sky, Wind, Twilight, and Wild split off to the sides with bows, picking off moblins before they could attack. The battle was over in minutes.

As Wind picked off his last moblin, the unthinkable happened: his bow broke. The arrow still distracted the moblin long enough for Sky to take it out, but that didn’t change the facts. His bow was broken. He stared at it and Warriors started to walk toward him.

He came out of his shock and started to glare at the bow. “Shit fucking tits!” he yelled, “I fought bloody fuckin’ Ganon with this bow!” He continued to rant, his language becoming more and more vulgar as he went.

The other Links starred in complete shock. Half of them had been policing their language for   _months_  in order to preserve what was left of the young hero’s innocence. At least they thought they had. Eight heroes racked their brains for anything they could have said that would have taught the youngest Link _this_.

Wild recovered first. “Erm…” he said, “We can get you a new one.”

Wind turned to him with  a gaze that could have melted steel. “Of course you would think so, you shithead! You just pick up shitty weapons from fuckin’ monsters! I had to go through the fucking Tower of the Gods for this!” Wild stepped back shocked and a little hurt.

Wind glared at his friends for a few more seconds before realization dawned on him. He looked at the other Links whose expressions ranging from bafflement to despair. He blushed and drew his broken bow close to him. “Oops.”

Legend, who was starting to be a little amused by the situation, gave him a small grin. “So, how long have have we been policing our tongues for no reason?”

Wind blushed until even his ears were red. “As long as we’ve been traveling together.”

Time looked as if he had just seen Ganondorf doing ballet in a frog costume. He shook himself and said,  “We can talk about this later. Right now we need to get these bodies off the road and get as close to the base of those cliffs before nightfall.

The rest of the heroes nodded before starting to moving and looting the moblins. They continued to the base of the cliffs with only a few quiet conversations.

* * *

At the base of the cliffs the Links sat in an awkward silence around their campfire while Wild cooked dinner. Wind tried to make small talk.

“So ‘Rule, do these cliffs have a name?”

“Not that I know of.”

There was silence again.

Four had had enough, apparently they need to talk about this. It shouldn’t have been this big a deal. “Do you want me to make you a new bow?”

Wind looked down. “That would be nice.”

Four nodded. “That bow was getting too small for you anyway. That’s probably why it snapped.”

“I’m still going to keep the old one, it has too many memories to just throw away.” Wind smiled sheepishly. “Sorry for startling you guys.” He looked at Wild, “I didn’t mean it when I called you a shithead.”

Wild waved his apology off, “I figured.”

Warriors sighed dramatically, “Is there a reason you made me spend a half hour explaining what a son of a bitch is?”

Wind smiled looking at his hands. “It was funny and you guys all assumed that I had no clue.”

Legends leaned forward and smiled conspiratorially, “And who did teach you how to swear like that?”

Wind’s own smile was downright mischievous. “Zelda.”

Legend scowled before taking out a bag of rupees and handing it to a very smug Warriors.

Hyrule blanched. His Zelda probably didn’t even know what a swear word was. “Surely she wouldn’t know…”

Wind interrupted him with a laugh. “You forget my Zelda is a pirate captain. And she isn’t even really Zelda. Her name is Tetra.”

Legend frowned. “I completely forgot about that.”

Wind scowled and glared at the fire. “You all do. You treat me like a child. I’m a hero just like all of you and I am _not_ a child.”

Time put his hand on Wind’s shoulder and said, “No one doubts that. We all know that you’re as strong as the rest of us.”

That wasn’t enough for Wind. He shook of Time’s hand. “That’s no what I meant! Sure, you know I’m capable with a sword, but you treat me like I’m so innocent. I worked on a fuckin’ pirate ship for fuck’s sake! Why!?”

The rest of the Link’s shuffled uncomfortably. Wind was not letting this go. He could be a stubborn little brat.

Warriors finally answered for the group, “Fine! We made assumptions based on your age and appearance.” He waved his hand. “We’re sorry and won’t do it again. Happy?”

“Yep!” Wind said in a chipper voice that most definitely did not match his proclamation of adulthood. “And now that you know,” he smiled with the same mischievous smile, “I’m not going to stop fuckin’ swearing!”

**Author's Note:**

> I love the head cannon that wind cusses A LOT if he isn't watching himself. Tetra is worse. I have only played Phantom Hourglass and not Wind Waker, so let me know if I've made any mistakes. 
> 
> Constructive criticism is encouraged. Love it? Hate it? Tell me why! Please, please, please give me ways to improve!


End file.
